Why Values Matter (and how to determine yours)
We hear a lot of talk about Values, but not necessarily a lot of context around why they're important or how to find out what your own Values are.
I’ll be honest, I used to think the concept of Values was kind of a waste of time. It was interesting, but probably more an exercise in self-gratification than anything actually useful. When I thought of Values I thought of really generic terms like LOVE and RESPECT - you know the kind you see in big, bold font on corporate websites. So I never really paid much attention to figuring out my own - I was doing just fine without them, so why would I need to?
It was only when I started to really think about building the lifestyle I want, spending more time with the people I love and nurturing my own passions that I realised how important Values truly are.
Values are the notions that sit right at the very heart of who we are
They are our deepest, truest internal driving forces. Some people argue that we’re born with them, others argue they are developed as a result of our environment, but in either case, they are fundamental to WHO WE ARE as individuals.
When we ignore out Values, it feels wrong.
I like to think of it like wearing your shoes on the wrong feet. You can walk, but the journey is horribly uncomfortable.
When we actively go against our Values, chaos ensues (I’m talking personality disorders, breakdowns and serious health issues). So understanding, recognizing and nurturing our own personal Values is critical for our health and wellbeing. In business terms, going against your Values just to chase profit is a sure-fire way to burnout, unhappiness, struggle and competition. When we’re not being authentic, customers see through us a mile-off. You can’t pretend to be someone you’re not (at least not forever, anyway).
But when we act in ways that are true to our Values, we shine.
Think about the last time you were doing something where you felt truly alive, happy and content - like this was exactly where you were meant to be, doing exactly what you were meant to be doing. I’ll bet you $100 you were doing something in line with your core Values.
Our best work is done when we’re in this state, because it doesn’t even feel like work. It’s a joy, it comes naturally to us and it’s easy to succeed. And the best part - customers can feel it, see it and experience it too, so they gravitate towards us.
So how do you find out what your own core Values really are?
There are a few ways to do this, and I’m afraid all of them involve some work on your part. I’m going to focus on the method I’ve found to be most effective…
First of all you’ve got to approach this OBJECTIVELY. This might feel weird since Values are clearly SUBJECTIVE and highly individual. But if you want the most truthful, honest, authentic answers, you’ve got to take your Ego out of it.
So forget thinking about the Values you’re supposed to have.
We’re supposed to value things like love, honesty, respect and integrity because society tells us those are ‘good’. We’re not supposed to value money or comfort or recognition because society says those are ‘bad’.
Put that to one side and give yourself permission to be honest. Nurture that honesty by doing this exercise alone, in a space where you won’t be disturbed, using a medium you know won’t be seen by anyone else (I find hand-writing on a piece of paper is most effective, but if a laptop or phone works for you then go for it).
Now it’s time to write things down.
Start by writing all the words and phrases that come to mind - a total download. We need to get everything out of your system. What I usually find is that the less honest, society-driven Values come out first, and that’s the aim. They need to come out to clear space in your head for the real work to begin.
Now draw a line under that, clear your mind and do the exercise again.
This time, force yourself to really think about every word or phrase that pops up before you write it down. Ask yourself lots of questions - does this really feel like me? Do I really believe this, or do I just think I should? If I couldn’t do this, how would it make me feel? Was this thing present the last time I felt like I was really happy? Do I go out of my way to try and make this thing present in my life? Do I want others to treat me with this? Would I care if they didn’t?
Only write down the things that feel truly authentic and real after you’ve answered those questions.
The last part of the process is all about WHY.
Look at your new list, and for every single word or phrase, ask yourself:
‘Why is this important’?
Keep asking that question over and over and over again. We’re aiming to get right down to the very core root of why something matters to you.
This is the real truth of what drives and motivates you, what makes you unique and what sits at the heart of the energy you put out into the world.
These are your Values. Nurture them, respect them, enjoy them. They’re your own individual superpowers - use them to get ahead and succeed in what you do.
If you liked this post (or indeed if you hated it!) please do leave me a comment to let me know your thoughts!